Saturday, July 16, 2011

Life's Choices

"It's not my life! I am living somebody Else's life!"
What this line suggests you? What I will be writing around such a line?
1) Some fiction story with memory loss...
2) Fiction about death of a person giving responsibilities of life to someone causing drastic change in his life....
3) Some kind of a science fiction using non-existent weired ideas of many dimensions....
4) Some magic or fairy story of the different world containing all different species like vampires, wizards, ghosts, goblins, dragons etc...
5) I can even write a non fiction giving ideas about managing your life successfully by using this Mantra!
6) This will be very ideal opening line for a spiritual book as well...
But NO! I am not going to write anything like that. Not at least now in this post. (As all ideas are stored in my brain, I can't guaranty about the next post anyway!)
Today I am going to write about some simple facts that I learned about life.
You get the life you deserve. There is no such thing as somebody else's life. Life gives you all the choices to make from time to time. You yourself choose the alternative as per your thinking and your nature. So... The life you get is of your choice and your making!
The situation sometimes compels you to make certain choices which could be seen as fate. But the chances life gives you are designed such that it will give you what you lack in yourself. It will teach you , enrich you with experiences and develop your personality. If you have decided on some path to take in your life and some how you chose the totally different /opposite path, it means you are attracted more towards the life on the other side of the road. You need to get those experiences to enrich your life to the other higher stage of life. All kinds of experiences are necessary in your life.
Yes , I was thinking about my life as somebody else's life. Even now sometimes I feel that this is not my life! But next moment shows me how all the experiences in this life which I chose for myself without planning and knowing why I chose it ; gave me... All the dimensions it had added to my life which I had never thought before that they existed in world...And I will surely give up the life I was thinking I would lead someday! My one lifespan is very short to absorb all those things life is offering me....teaching me! Is this the 'KARMA YOGA' of my own I am experiencing? Or is it the fate I am accepting without complaint and with logic of my own?
Many times I ask question that why was I compelled to make a particular choice and not any other to fate. But I should not be asking this question to the fate,because fate will not answer to me. But if I aks this question to myself then I will get many asnwers to this question which will satisfy my quest.
I am not satisfied with my life yet. I still have some paths I want to take which I don't know if my choices will permit me or not. I might not be satisfied with the life I got with my choices but I am trying to get all I could from them. I know some times I could have made a mistake in making choices but that is what I could have chewed at the time... Other choice could have been something I couldn't have handled and that is what really matters.
Yes...I am happy with my life and my choices as they are now! Aren't you?

Monday, April 25, 2011

The Railway station

After a very very long time she had come to this place. She never thought she was so closely related to this place. Yesterday when she was cleaning her closet she found the photograph of this place taken long back. Then she couldn't stop herself visiting this place. The longing was so strong!
'The Railway station'! How this place had become so important to her? Not only important, it had a mysterious outline to it in her memories. Many memories were such when she was not travelling by the train but just had come there to visit someone. She had discovered someone who had found the privacy in the crowd of this station. She was totally stumped by the idea when she first heard of it. But now she could see so many aspects she hadn't seen that time to this idea!
She had done something that day, that was totally out of character, when she had gathered the courage to tell him that she loved him! The totally unconditional love. He had reciprocated the emotion and had taken her to the station. The place where he used to go often to fulfill his passion of looking at passing by trains and the place where you would be alone with so many people passing by without giving you any thought or the second look! That day here at this place she had found totally new world of experiences and the totally different perspective to look at the life!
At this station she had learned to be anonymous. Making herself sparse when she was not included in the talk. On this station she had seen her Idol getting on the train and going away like totally different person, leaving her alone to think about the life and her idealism in different light!
The station has changed so much but it still had it's original aura of fullness and satisfaction. This place just represented her life. All hustle and bustle of catching some fast trains. Some slow movements to be on the train in general and sometimes just holding the ground to let some trains pass by without any interruptions. So many emotions to be confronted by each passing passenger.
Yes she loved this place. She had visited so many stations in her life. Each had a different memory attached to it. But this station had a really very special place in her heart and life!

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Mirror

I am writing this post after a long time. I have changed the picture on my profile as well... Want to know WHY? Then you have to be patient and read on... I can give any no. of excuses for not writing so long. But the real reason was I needed time. I needed to think badly about my writing and what I really wanted to do with my blog! When I started blogging I was thrilled. I learned and experienced so many things in such a short period of time. I started writing in new formats like 55 fiction, tags etc. I started to write witty remarks and made so many friends! But somehow in the process I lost myself! Blogging is very addictive. You have to write everyday. The pressure of writing, to be read and to get lots of comments is tremendous. Yet you have to write creatively. You have to produce new ideas and most of all you have to satisfy yourself with it! Which I lost completely. I was really very unhappy with my writing. It didn't feel like my passion to me anymore. So I stopped writing a Blog. Today I changed the picture to a mirror. I feel my writing is like mirror to me.
It shows me my real image. Sometimes ugly...
sometimes beautiful
sometimes even illusive or misguided.....
but still it is me! Different, expansive virtual me!
So now I am going to write this blog with different perspective and with more knowledgeable; mature mind! It is going to be my mirror as I like it to be. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

My Best friend...

This post is for the contest "FRIENDS FOREVER" by Blogadda. For more posts visit-
I have not being writing for a very long time! And what could be a better opportunity to start writing again than a friendship day? Writing about the person who taught me to read,(Not a,b,c,d... kind! Reading books, understanding books, reading the persons and so on...T hat kind of reading!!) constantly inspired me to write and in a way who is the major influence on me to make me a person I am now!
Many things define one as a person! One of the major things that defined my life is my friendship with Gauri. I am at the stage of life where I do not believe anyone or anything very easily but I do not question them as well... Friendship is very hard to find and impossible to maintain. And I am going to write about the stage when I used to question a lot, believed everything that came my way and made friends with each and everyone who passed my way. Strange how life changes... We change...
I am in love with the concept of parallel worlds recently and I know that I and Gauri had shared and still are sharing a beautiful world of our own! I can see all my life events like now and then .I can see the different outcomes of my behaviour than I had expected and all that is related directly to her as she had shown me this perception!!
"I have brought something for you." Gauri told me as she handed something in my hand. "What is it?" I asked her instead of seeing what she has given me. "Don't ask questions.Just see it!" She gestured to the paper she had given me.It was a very white envelope containing two papers of a latter pad of faint brown colour. A poem of 'Amitoj' named 'Kanch ke Gilas!' (The glass vessels ) This is the difference between me and Gauri. She does everything so neatly even gracefully which I adore a lot but I am a very untidy clumsy person, even a bit lazy at that! She has not only written a poem and poet but has written a date on which she has given it to me! I read that poem and I was shattered. I didn't gave any reply to her. Which was very unlike me. "I loved this poem when I read it and I thought you would like it too.Didn't you like it?" Gauri asked me but I didn't answer her! An awkward silence fell in the room. Our friendship was based on the differences between us so we used to fight a lot we used to call it argument anyway. But that day it was different! (The poem was about two friends who didn't remain friends with passing time!) "Say something!" Gauri tried again... But I didn't answer her and we parted ways in silence! My mother was shocked to see Gauri go home immediately .She was counting me out of her household works for hours... That night I wrote a poem as the answer to the poem Gauri has given me and took it to the Gauri next day as early as possible. We had a big fight and Gauri vowed not to give me any poem to read as a gift again. "Couldn't I show you anything just because I liked it and not without any ulterior motive? Why couldn't you just appreciate anything and take a joy of it?" She was shouting at me! I was very sincere with everything in life and she was like a butterfly enjoying every joy of life with free mind! Now I don't know about free mind and butterfly but I am enjoying a very luxurious life and she is working very hard as a life worker of Vivekananda Kendra in Arunachal!!
One day she gave me a Marathi translation of 'Little Women'. I read it in two three days and then we started to discuss it. The first question she asked me was which character you liked the most? My answer was "Beth"! The next question she asked was why? For which I did not had a logical answer. Rather I didn't had any answer! She was totally disappointed in me! She loved Joe and she was expecting me to like Joe as well. She had so many logical reasons to like the character of Joe that for many days we argued about it and still she won! After almost 20 years I read a book by the Author who had Translated the book in Marathi telling her experiences while translating the book. She loved the character of 'Beth' and she thought that she was a bit biased while writing it! Now I have a very genuine and logical reason to like the character of Beth. I started the argument again in the letter. Writing a special letter to her after a very very long time. She was so happy to received my letter that she forgot to argue!
I used to write poems and she used to guess correctly what my inspiration was! She took my poems to her writer uncle once and come back with the opinion which was very shocking to me! He liked the poems which I never spare a second glance to! That was my first realisation of reality!!
We watched many films, dramas and song programmes together.Then discussed them for hours! I watched the film "Roja" and liked it so much I took Gauri to watch it. I was narrating every scene and she was listening it quietly! The person sitting behind us lost his patience at last and told me to shut up! Then Gauri smiled at me and said, "iIwas trying to say the same thing politely to you and couldn't come up with the frame so.. just shut up!" We laughed so hard on this incident after the film!! The Colonel's character was good but we loved Pankaj Kapoor's "Aatankvadi" the best!!
She was there for me in each and every difficult time I faced in my life. She was there to enjoy my first moment of failure when I failed my driving test for a motorcycle driving. She encouraged me and celebrated with me when I finally got my licence. She was there to entertain me when I was confined in home due to my fractured leg! That was the time I will never forget!
We don't meet that often now a days but we both relish on the moments we treasured. I hope to show this post to show her and get her opinion about it! Probably I will write many new posts about the right and wrong things and emotions I have mentioned here!
Our friendship is a dream for me and now I am hoping for the dream within the dream within the dream... What will it be like?! A sky is the limit!!

The cosmic finger of friendship!

Saturday, January 9, 2010

A Double Life

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 6; the sixth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Note- All the characters in this story are fictitious. I have used the names of the fellow bloggers just for fun. No offence meant!

When I started my computer I was shocked to see this image on my screen... What does it mean? This is so typical of Vipul ! He always does that. Some code or the other to decode for everyone else...He so much enjoys pulling legs of others on top of it... But this time he had overdone it! Ok. I am on it! I have to do it before anyone else this time. I was concentrating very hard on it when the phone rang. I didn't hear the noise first then I didn't recognise it. But my brain came to its normal sharpness after a while. I have to answer the phone right now! This has to wait for a bit then...

Vipul.!.. Again so much like him. Disturbing me knowing that I must be working on the given task. "How dare you disturb me this hour..." I almost barked in the phone but I was in for the surprise again. It was not Vipul! It was his girlfriend calling to know about the whereabouts of Vipul. Vipul is missing from yesterday night! Where the hell was he? I stared blankly at my screen. It dawn to me suddenely! This is the last message of Vipul. Had he tried to tell us something thro' this? I had to talk to Pawan about it or consult Sid! They were the experts of such kind of things. Suddenely the image became so much more important!

This all started about six months back. Vipul was the master mind behind this all. He started a society called Messengers. We all were members of this society. It was just for fun. we wrote messages in different codes to each others and then decoded it. But after sometime it became an obsession. Number of members kept on increasing steadily. Codes became more and more complecated. And now this... What the hell was happening? I called Pawan and Sid and asked them to come over my place. I called Shilpa as well....We might need one cool analyser and a person with great resources... What exactly did Vipul want us to think about this image?

I glanced on the notes I have written down about the image. 1) Things - Table, chair, pen , pencil (large?) 2) Colours - Red, pink, black, yellow 3) Mood of the picture - Thinking , writing , confessing.... May be showing three steps of life? This image is showing something loud and clear... It was very simple but I was a bit confused about it! Why? Any way I was ready with my explanation when the other three arrived.

All three of them were looking so tired. They were trying out different possibilities from last night. Oh my... I was the laziest member of our society then... I was so ashamed of myself that I made coffee for them all and tried to concentrate on what explanation they had for the image. Besides all my points shilpa had analysed all shapes in the image as well. Pawan was talking about the prominent bloody red colour in the image. Sid has declared himself as a detective recentely so he was talking about the suspecious members of our society for whom we had secret names and codes. He started matching those names with the image.....This was a bit complecated than I had thought.

That sence of "It's so simple" was nagging me still. Two months back one senior police officer had aproached Vipul about the case.... I talked for the first time and just asked Shilpa if she had a phone no. of that officer with her. All three of them stared at me like I was an Alien and it just dawned on them like me. We dialed the no. with the speaker phone mode and when somebody answered it we asked for the Vipul holding our breaths without knowing it. "Hello?" familiar voice answered us and we relised our breaths with the joy cries. Vipul was expecting our call!!

What? You still didn't get it? Vipul has landed a job of decoder for the government of India. He was recruting for some members from his sosciety before closing it down for ever. Something that had started as fun has turned out to be a larger than life before it turned out to be something horrible as we all have started to fear..... Now we all are living a double life with all the colours in the image showing our personalities. Want to join in? Wait for the next image and let us see if you can decode it to the satisfaction of our team members....

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

Saturday, December 5, 2009

All in a Day's work

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 5; the fifth edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.

I usually woke up at 6:00 o'clock in the morning. Actually I set a alarm for 5:30 with the snooze of 10 minutes! So after two snoozes I wake up at the third snooze...Oh what a heavenly feeling my mind feels when I get that extra 30 minutes sleep! Yes sometimes I press wrong keys and the snooze alarm turns off...Then I have to rush through my work like a rocket but still, 'that 30 minutes' sleep and 'that heavenly feeling 'worth ed more such havoc mornings! I love these mornings as well for they show the signs of aliveness present deep inside me. I have to find out the recipes which are fastest,I could find out how fast my child can cope with the situation without complaint and how much my husband is capable of helping me if the time comes...

My daughter has that same habit of sleeping just for 5 minutes more...I usually get so much annoyed with her for that but sometimes a morning comes when I realise that she is so much like me or my husband in some habits that I start enjoying her behavior and loved her more...We exchange a very different communication that day with each other for the whole day!

I listen to the Radio in the morning from 6:00 o'clock to 9:00/9:30. It's just a habit I had from my childhood. My father used to put on a radio and from the programs we use to decide the time and used to get ready in time for the school or college. Now Radio programs are not like that but this habit keeps me with the time still! I know all the new songs, all the new language that is going around and all the new trends in the world. When I listen to some very romantic song I remember how was the feeling for my husband in the starting days...It revives that feeling in me again. Certainly making life more spicy!

Oh I know what you must be thinking now..."How long this story is going to be?!" This is the forth para and I have reached only up to 9:30 a.m.! So are there going to be more than 10 paras? Hell no I don't have that much patience as well! I want to give you a 2 hours Hollywood movie with the extra ordinary special effects and not the same old 3 hours Bollywood movie.

My life is going on with more or less same pace for last 15 years. Each day is somewhat same as the other ;still different. Enjoying this difference second by second each day is what I am doing in all my day's work.

I have gathered so many such seconds in my day's work.....I have travelled in different spaces and times with the books I read, and movies I saw!I have experience the moments of pure giving and social work. I have experienced the great moments of selflessness, of love ,of friendship and of sheer hopelessness.... I have experienced all this quite unexpectedly in my dull every day's work and it had given me such a joy...

I am happy about my life and yet feeling some unhappiness. I keep on finding something and fighting for more in a day's work! I am living my life all in day's work!

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.